You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
