With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
