Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
