barbara walters just said penis...
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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