I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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