I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
