if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
