his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
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