In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize