Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
