I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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