The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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