he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
