Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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