i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
dude. I can hear the air.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
