3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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