lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
