i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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