hell yes lets make some ravioli
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Redeem this text for a blowjob
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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