I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
wow bdsm is so cute
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
