I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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