I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
