My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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