I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
