and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
