I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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