but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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