Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
