My hair reeks of homosexuality.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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