he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
