and you said cock pushups were impossible
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
