and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
