i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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