sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
You were trust falling into bushes
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
