Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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