laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
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