My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
NoShamevember. You game?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
