Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
