what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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