did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
