We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
