: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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