So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
