I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
