I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize