Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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