***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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