Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize