you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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