Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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