This is not my ceiling
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
