Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
