he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
