a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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