Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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