you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
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