love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
