Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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