I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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